If I could I would instill in every person reading this article the understanding that we are far more powerful than we know. Not in the ability to make a million dollars or create the greatest use of AI necessarily, although maybe that’s you! I’m speaking of the power we have in every moment to literally change another person’s life with a word or action. 

If you doubt this, think about the last time you received an encouraging word to pursue something that really mattered to you and, as a result, you did that. What impact did that have on you and the others in your world? Or, the last time you encouraged someone else to do that, and they took a leap of faith. That person was supported to expand beyond their limited idea of themselves and benefit from the experience. I think we’ve all experienced this, yes?

This is not a small thing. A word of support, encouragement, or kindness, or an action that communicates care, concern, or celebration — these are compelling examples of the power we hold in every moment to affect our life and the lives of others.

For example, consider how much it matters when you share a few words of support with a colleague who has no experience holding a meeting. That person goes on to have a successful meeting, which then impacts the ability of that group to make wise decisions, which then impacts the people they serve and prospers a multitude of others. From a few words of support. This is the power we hold.

Of course, the opposite is true as well. Words or actions that evoke self-doubt, shame or distrust also create results and waves of influence. They disempower ourselves and others and can result in chaos and harm. 

Bottom line — it starts with us. With our choice to come off autopilot and use our power to empower. 

We all have blind spots. We all have reactive tendencies. If we don’t know about them or how to intervene with ourselves, we will create the opposite of what we really want. This is where having support comes in, whether that’s with a coach, counselor, or support group. We don’t know what we don’t know, but we can know. It’s our choice. It starts with us.

Here are three ways you can empower yourself to choose how you use your power:

  1. Make a regular practice of embracing your authentic self — your loving, clear, wise self. Bring quiet into your life through mindfulness, meditation, or any other method that feels right to you. When we rush from one thing to another, we aren’t even aware of how much we’re frittering away our energy and our power. In our workaholic world, it’s easy to get caught up in the frenzy. 
  2. At each meeting or conversation, let go of any temptation to be transactional and listen for opportunities to give and receive. We can tell the difference when someone is truly interested and when that person is primarily in it for themselves. Be the person who is available for a real connection so you can use your power to serve.
  3. Embrace your authentic power. While we all experience difficulties in life, we do not need to be victimized by them. It may take time to work things through and grieve, and it’s important to have empathy and compassion for ourselves while we do that. The good news is we can ultimately discover the gift and opportunity in whatever comes our way if we choose to. 

We get to decide what’s important to us, how we want to use that power. This starts with self-awareness and is carried through with intention and skill. When you experience the joy of using your power to support someone else to show up in their brilliance, it can be life changing for you and for them.

When my son, Lucas, was a child, I used to mimic Star Wars and say to him, “Use your powers for good, Luke!” I wanted him to know he had power, and how he used it mattered. He mattered. Well, guess what? You matter — a lot! We all do. Our words and actions matter. We have the power. It starts with us. If I can support you, I’d love to.